If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You is a quirky dark comedy-drama film
that blends humor, heartbreak, and self-discovery in an
unforgettable way.
The story centers on Maxine “Max” Harper, a sarcastic and fiercely intelligent woman who becomes paralyzed from the waist down after a freak accident involving an inflatable mascot at her workplace. Confined to a wheelchair, Max’s bitterness and sharp wit alienate those around her — except for Eli, a clumsy but well-meaning physical therapist who refuses to give up on her.
As Max navigates her new reality, she channels her rage into a brutally honest podcast titled “If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You,” where she unloads her thoughts about society’s shallow sympathy, fake positivity, and the awkward ways people treat her differently. To her surprise, the podcast goes viral, turning her into an accidental symbol of empowerment — though she insists she’s “just angry, not inspirational.”
Throughout the film, Max’s humor serves as both armor and therapy. Flashbacks reveal her old life — one driven by perfectionism and control — contrasting sharply with her present vulnerability. As she forms an unlikely friendship (and potential romance) with Eli, she learns to confront not only her physical limitations but also her emotional ones.
Visually, the film uses a mix of muted tones and vibrant color bursts to mirror Max’s emotional growth. The dialogue is razor-sharp, laced with sarcasm, but balanced by moments of raw sincerity.
Ultimately, If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You is a biting yet heartfelt exploration of resilience, identity, and humor in the face of life’s most absurd challenges — reminding viewers that even when you can’t stand up, you can still stand out.